I’m Not Like That!

by Bluewater Advisory

July 9, 2024

Upon entering the boardroom, our client, the CEO, offered us a glimpse into key team member Carol’s demeanor just before we began a leadership : “Carol shows no emotion. She always has a stone face and is hard to read. But when she talks, we all listen because it’s always valuable!”  This description set the stage for our meeting with Carol, a longtime employee.

An hour later, as our program commenced and we delved into discussions about the attendees’ DISC reports, Carol surprised us with remarks which were in direct contrast to the CEO’s.  She confidently stated, “I need to share something with my report that I do not agree with.  My report says I am closed off and lack emotion.  This can’t be right.  I am very clear with my emotions.”

This contradiction wasn’t unique.  In fact, it occurs quite regularly with our clients.  But why?

As I have been sitting on these thoughts, I had my own similar moment that heightened my awareness.

“I really want to take my girls to New York City, but they’re petrified of the city, and I don’t know why?”, I lamented to my friend over coffee.

Her immediate response  “Well yes, you talk about how much you dislike large cities all the time!”  In my defense, I often mention visiting a different city, and looking back, my words are tinged with fear and negativity. While this is not a pleasant realization, it is very likely the reason my daughters have picked up on the perception that large cities are bad and scary.

Reflecting on these moments, I can’t help but wrestle with the nagging question: What am I conveying about myself to others that contradicts how I really feel about certain things?” And equally important: What falsehoods am I embracing as my truth?

These situations involving Carol, other clients, colleagues, and even myself prompt the need for profound exploration of self-perception and self-awareness. Is taking responsibility for our words enough? Should we go deeper and take ownership of every fleeting thought before it manifests into words? Are we accountable for the misperceptions of others based upon what we say?  Or do we need to acknowledge the distorted reality we might inhabit and seek the guidance of true friends and mentors to help us confront our falsehoods?  These are great questions to begin deeper examination!

As I work toward heightened self-awareness, I turn to the insights offered by my own Emotional Intelligence (EQ) assessments. My EQ report highlights the need to improve self-awareness and suggests several strategies such as seeking feedback from trusted individuals and daily reflection on strengths and areas for improvement.

As I embark on this journey of self-discovery and growth, I invite you to join me. Are you curious about how an EQ assessment can benefit you personally or professionally? Reach out, and let’s navigate this journey together. After all, understanding ourselves is the first step towards understanding others.

Brooke Schnorr,
Associate Consultant